Google Potty Story

I, um, had a bit of a bathroom issue the day after we arrived in San Jose (July 26, 2006)...okay, I get constipated when I travel. There, I said it. Anyhoo, I had tried to solve that with many mucho cups of java at breakfast. Unfortunately, the coffee didn't kick in until we were screamin' down 101 North towards San Fran.

We passed Ebay and Yahoo's headquarters and waved as we went by. Snead said, "You know, it would be so cool to see the Googleplex while we're here. That would just make the trip!"

A few minutes later, I informed her that I needed to find a bathroom...NOW. We saw a sign for the Amphitheatre Parkway exit and took it. I immediately said, as I squirmed in my seat, "I don't see any fast food joints or gas stations here. I don't think we'll find a place at this exit." Snead said, "Don't worry, we'll find something."

We were concentrating so hard that it took both of us a few minutes to register that the sign on the parking lot we had just pulled into read GOOGLE, in all it's fun, colorful glory. We both sat in awe for a few moments.

Snead says, "Just go in and ask if you can use the restroom." I said, "No way!" She pursed her lips together and gave me "the look". "Okay, okay...I'll try," I said as I stepped out of the car.

I had no idea where to enter, so I just picked a random door.

I walked into a modernly-appointed lobby where a fresh-faced young guy sat behind a large wooden barricade, or reception desk. He smiled. I smiled. I asked if there was a bathroom nearby that I could use.

He said, "Oh sure! It's right over there behind that door...Do you have a badge?"

Darn it!

I said, "I sure don't. I am here for a conference." I didn't mention the conference was in SAN JOSE, but he didn't ask either.

He smiled again and said, "Oh no problem. I'll let you in with mine."

A few moments later the door beeped and I was behind it and breathing the air in the inner sanctum of the Googleplex! If I hadn't had to go to the bathroom so bad, I am sure I would have stood there for a moment in silent prayer, but...

So, I made the instant left turn into the Google women's potty. At first glance, it looked just like any other office restroom. Lines of stalls and all that. But, when I went into one of those stalls, I balked just slighty. (Man, I WISH I had taken my camera!) There were all sorts of lines attached to the toilet and little electronic boxes on the walls with digital readouts and buttons. Holy CRAP, Batman! Literally.

I sat down to find that the toilet seat was cozy warm. Heated toilet seats? Unreal. I frantically searched out the toilet paper dispenser to make sure I didn't have to find a digital button to work it. Whew! It just unrolled normally.

Minutes later I was back in the hallway. I took one longing look towards the murmur of working Google employees in their cubbies and then turned and floated out of the inner sanctum.

The young man at the desk was kind enough to point me back to the 101 North. Perhaps he'll never know that he saved me from embarrassment and also made my entire week by allowing me tread on almost holy ground for a blogger. He was the hero of the day.

Leona

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