Leona Gets Fit

Back on South Beach -- The Evil Darth Tater

2006-08-08T06:46:00.000-07:00

I have to praise the South Beach Diet in one breath and then point out in another that calling it a "diet" is just not accurate. Eating this way is a lifestyle change. Now, Phase 1 of this eating plan is relatively low in the area of starchy carbs. If you love potatoes and rice you'll probably pine for them for at least a week. But, if you CRAVE potatoes and white rice and other starchy things that break down into pure sugar in your body, or if you are a dessertaholic/sugaraholic then this may be a good way to go cold turkey for a couple of weeks to quell your cravings. It works for me.

I started South Beach two years ago and lost 25 lbs in about 5 months. I even managed to take off 5 more lbs as the year went on. I kept most of it it off until about 7 months ago. Then, for some reason, I started to tell myself that it would be okay to start buying chips again. Surely I wouldn't eat them. But I DID eat them!

Yes, it is my fault. I am the person who gave up my lean meat without skin and started eating fried chicken almost once a week yet again. I am the person who should have stuck to my healthy eggs, egg whites, oatmeal, whole grain toast, and fresh fruit. Ugh! It sounds soooo good, doesn't it? What turned me back to pastries, sugared cereal, and biscuits?

But, even with all that said, my biggest foe is really the delicious and evil potato. There is not a potato that I don't love: Russets, Yukon Gold, little red creamers...my mouth is watering just talking about them. I like them baked, fried, scalloped, shredded, mashed, creamed, made into chips. You name it.

I have discovered that I can only indulge in my unholy lust for potatoes in moderation. I have to have some way of controlling myself. South Beach taught me how to fit these types of foods back into my diet in a sane manner.

So, here I am. It's day 2 of sanity and South Beach. I know it is all in my head, totally psychological, but I already feel better. I just hope that in a month or so my cholesterol will be down and my heart will be thanking me.

If you have a food that sabotages your good intentions, please share it in comments. I don't like to feel alone...and warped. hehe

Leona

Technorati Tags: South Beach Diet, potato, good carbs, Darth Tater

Driver's Permits and Crazy Mothers

2006-08-02T20:29:00.000-07:00

I'll start off with a fitness update...

I haven't started walking again. Tomorrow is the big day. I also haven't started South Beach. I haven't had time to shop. As luck would have it, my boss assigned me a project of giantic proportions that is due tomorrow morning, along with one of lesser girth that is due tomorrow afternoon.

Now, on the the big news...

My daughter got her Learner's Permit today! (The crowd goes wild.)

Okay, here's where I open my soul online and stuff spills out everywhere. Are you ready? I did not want her to get this Permit.

There, it has been said. I said it. Does that make me a horrible mother? Am I not supposed to revel in my child's joy? Rejoice in her growth towards womanhood? I just can't do it.

I am a grown woman and driving on the roads in this country (and probably others, but I haven't driven outside this country in 16 years, so I can't comment) gets more harrowing every day. It has gotten so bad that now road rage is considered a mental disorder. Most drivers show absolutely no courtesy anymore and seem only bent on getting to their destinations as fast as they possibly can, regardless of the consequences.

And, let's face it, there are just more cars on the road than there were when I started driving. (You know, back in the Jurassic age when we rode around on dinosaurs and wore beaver skins to stay warm.)

I am so afraid for my baby to be out there surrounded by all those idiotic nuts who can't wait five seconds for you to pass the guy in front of you, so they MUST whiz over onto the shoulder of the road and pass illegally. Then, they blow their horns and flip YOU off! *sigh*

Now, let's assess the TEENAGE driver situation. According to the CDC, "The risk of motor vehicle crashes is higher among 16- to 19-year-olds than among any other age group. In fact, per mile driven, teen drivers ages 16 to 19 are four times more likely than older drivers to crash (IIHS 2005)."

A recent study by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) suggests that, even though teens typically have quick reflexes and keen senses, their brains just haven't matured enough to handle the skills required to drive safely. The area of the human brain that "inhibits risky behavior" apparently doesn't fully mature until around age 25. Well, there ya go!

And yes, part of the reason I am afraid is I REMEMBER being a teenage driver. My dad must have remembered, too, because he managed to avoid going with me to get my driver's license until I was 17. :-) I always TRIED to be a responsible driver, but I remember how nervous I was. I remember almost hitting other cars. I remember other kids I went to high school with who never made it to graduation, mostly due to the combination of alcohol, an automobile, and the blissful teenage idea of immortality. They were mortal. Unfortunately, there's not much of a learning curve on that one.

One particular incident sticks in my mind. And, it may be the moment in time that my own mortality hit me hard. There was a young cheerleader who was a couple of grades below me in high school. She was a sweet girl, and everyone liked her, even those, like me, who didn't run in that crowd. She was just one of those girls who smiles all the time and is just NICE.

There were some guys at our school who formed a group called the Rebel's Club and most of the jock guys belonged to it. They were notorious for their kick-ass parties. This particular weekend, I was invited to go. It wasn't really my scene, so I decided to go out with some friends instead.

The next morning, a friend called to tell me that there had been an accident. The little cheerleader and her friend were driving back from the party after having too much to drink. The driver (another cheerleader) said that "Sue" began sitting on the back of the seat of her convertible VW bug. She took her eyes off the road to attempt to get her friend to sit down, came up over a hill and into the path of another car. She swerved. "Sue" fell out and the VW flipped and landed on her.

I took in this information and walked like a zombie to the bathroom, where I stripped, stepped under the shower and then curled into a ball, sobbing. I had just seen her at school the day before. Now she would never go to school again. She'd never smile again. Or cheer. Or hug her parents and her sister. I couldn't wrap my brain around it.

As a parent, the thought of someone knocking on the door in the middle of the night (or any time of day, really) to deliver the news that I'd never see my child again tears my heart out.

So, my Devin has her Permit. She is 15. She is a responsible girl. She is nervous. I trust her. It's all those OTHER people out there I don't trust. And, I know that no matter how responsible she is, she's not infallible. I just have to pray that all goes well.

And, not let her have the car keys until she's 25! Bwaaahahahahhaha

If any moms of teens have advice, I'd sure like to hear it.

Goodnight.

Leona

Technorati Tags: Driver's Permit, teenager, road rage

Eating Well at Blogher?

2006-07-31T15:27:00.000-07:00

Since this IS a blog mostly about fitness and weight loss, I feel the need to get back on track a bit and chat about my eating habits during the past week.

I don't think I did too bad. Although, I probably had WAY too much coffee. With all the time zone adjustment, I kept sucking it down! LOL. But, I also drank a lot of water. The water and the coffee was most likely the reason for all the peeing I did while on the West Coast. Snead and I finally decided to stop counting our trips to the bathroom. There were just too many.

I have to say that we stuck to mostly the nutritious side of the foods that were offered during the conference. One morning I broke down and had half a danish in the room. For breakfast the days before Blogher officially started, we were very good girls and had oatmeal, eggs and fruit. (Okay, we both also had a slice of bacon...sue me.)

There were excursions into the unhealthy side of the buffet table on my part. Day before yesterday I had both pecan pie during lunch and a brownie as a snack later on in the day. Ugh.

I guess I should also confess the bag of Cheetos I bought at Target. Luckily, the cheese puffs, when opened, tasted and smelled burnt, so I only ate a handful and threw the rest away. Probably a good thing.

The worst thing was getting out of my exercise routine. Yes, we did a lot of walking through airports on Tuesday, but the only other really great exercise I got was the up and downhill trek we took in San Francisco on Wednesday. After that, the only movement in my day consisted of strolling back and forth between conference room, the pool and our room. I'm really going to have to rev up my walking/jogging this coming week.

I've also decided to go back on South Beach on Monday.

"My name is Leona, and I am a carboholic."

My intake of veggies has gone downhill fast during the summer, which is strange since I usually eat MORE fruits and veggies this time of year. They are fresh and plentiful. I think I am in a rut. Bored or something. Anyhoo, it's time to lay off the bread, potatoes, and fatty meats and try to maintain a better balance. For me, South Beach is a pretty easy way to do that.

I'm going to attempt to post my daily menus here for the next two weeks, but don't shoot me if I falter.

Leona

Technorati Tags: blogher, fitness, weight loss, diet, South Beach Diet

Home again, Home again...jiggity jig!

2006-07-30T10:56:00.000-07:00

Sunday...on the way home. Snead and I are sitting on the plane from San Jose to Dallas in zombie-like comas (These are Snead's words. They sounded good, so I stole them. hehe)

We both tried sleeping, but it's just not happening. Probably gonna pass out immediately when we get home. Or, even more cruel, we'll NOT be able to sleep at all for the next three days.

The Blogher conference wasn't exactly what I expected it to be, but I still learned a lot. I am looking forward to opening my electronic goodie box when I get home and reading all the recaps from each session.

We got to meet several A-List bloggers, and Snead got chummy with Nancy White. We sat in a great session about writing about sex and sexuality on the Net. Maybe I'll spice up my blog a bit after this. No, there will be no porno, so don't get that excited.
;-) And, the names will be omitted to protect the innocent.

I really enjoyed meeting DrowningInKids, who hails from Canada. I'd read her blog several times, so it was kewl putting a face with it, and she was delightful. I also wrote down a TON of new URLs of blogs I'd like to check out. One that really intrigued me was a foodie blog called Egg Beater. We also met Halley, of Halley's Comment, and Susie Bright. I have visited Susie's blog MANY times, and it was great to meet her and hear her speak in the Sexuality panel.

I also met Amalah. I read her blog quite a bit. And, I met Karianna, who writes The Karianna Spectrum about her PDD-NOS (a mild form of autism) son at ClubMom. She and Snead, who also blogs at ClubMom (Use Your Words), had a really animated discussion about their sons and the various aspects of raising a child with autism. Shout out to Karianna!

I also sat in on a session on Group blogging. I was hoping it would be much meatier than it turned out to be, but I did get some good ideas from it. When I get home, I'll be creating a group blog for the Gainesville High School Swim Team. I had considered creating a website for the team, but I think a blog will give us a place to post all our stats, schedules, etc., and also allow the kids to have access to post themselves and share their photos and other things that interest them. I'm hoping they'll enjoy the experience. I just have to figure out what the best platform will be. I'm going to look into Movable Type this week. I really want to get it up and running before school starts.

The most amazing thing was just to be in a room with almost 800 women at once...all of them smart, funny, creative, empowered and more!

Can't wait to be home. I am missing Brandy, the kids and my nice, soft mattress. The hotel beds were like sleeping on bricks. Ugh. All-in-all, though, the Hyatt turned out to be better than it first appeared. The Internet connection was touchy and service was kind of slow, but the room was super clean. And, the staff did a good job of setting up our rooms for the conference as well as all the food and beverage stations. It was a plus that they served Starbucks coffee.

The girls called yesterday to tell me that Colton found a kitten near the yard. Naturally, they are dying to keep it! I have no idea what I want to do about that. I'd really like to stick with only the two cats we currently have, but who knows what I'll be suckered into when I get home. *sigh*

I'm hoping more than anything that the house is not a terrible, horrible, very bad mess when I walk in the door. That always stresses me out, because I know that I'll have to clean it in order to start my week off right. I have a hard time concentrating on work with a mess all around me.

Time to shut up before I ramble on.

Leona

Technorati Tags: blogher, blogher06, blogging, Halley's Comment, Susie Bright, Nancy White

Google Potty Story

2006-07-29T10:38:00.000-07:00

I, um, had a bit of a bathroom issue the day after we arrived in San Jose (July 26, 2006)...okay, I get constipated when I travel. There, I said it. Anyhoo, I had tried to solve that with many mucho cups of java at breakfast. Unfortunately, the coffee didn't kick in until we were screamin' down 101 North towards San Fran.

We passed Ebay and Yahoo's headquarters and waved as we went by. Snead said, "You know, it would be so cool to see the Googleplex while we're here. That would just make the trip!"

A few minutes later, I informed her that I needed to find a bathroom...NOW. We saw a sign for the Amphitheatre Parkway exit and took it. I immediately said, as I squirmed in my seat, "I don't see any fast food joints or gas stations here. I don't think we'll find a place at this exit." Snead said, "Don't worry, we'll find something."

We were concentrating so hard that it took both of us a few minutes to register that the sign on the parking lot we had just pulled into read GOOGLE, in all it's fun, colorful glory. We both sat in awe for a few moments.

Snead says, "Just go in and ask if you can use the restroom." I said, "No way!" She pursed her lips together and gave me "the look". "Okay, okay...I'll try," I said as I stepped out of the car.

I had no idea where to enter, so I just picked a random door.

I walked into a modernly-appointed lobby where a fresh-faced young guy sat behind a large wooden barricade, or reception desk. He smiled. I smiled. I asked if there was a bathroom nearby that I could use.

He said, "Oh sure! It's right over there behind that door...Do you have a badge?"

Darn it!

I said, "I sure don't. I am here for a conference." I didn't mention the conference was in SAN JOSE, but he didn't ask either.

He smiled again and said, "Oh no problem. I'll let you in with mine."

A few moments later the door beeped and I was behind it and breathing the air in the inner sanctum of the Googleplex! If I hadn't had to go to the bathroom so bad, I am sure I would have stood there for a moment in silent prayer, but...

So, I made the instant left turn into the Google women's potty. At first glance, it looked just like any other office restroom. Lines of stalls and all that. But, when I went into one of those stalls, I balked just slighty. (Man, I WISH I had taken my camera!) There were all sorts of lines attached to the toilet and little electronic boxes on the walls with digital readouts and buttons. Holy CRAP, Batman! Literally.

I sat down to find that the toilet seat was cozy warm. Heated toilet seats? Unreal. I frantically searched out the toilet paper dispenser to make sure I didn't have to find a digital button to work it. Whew! It just unrolled normally.

Minutes later I was back in the hallway. I took one longing look towards the murmur of working Google employees in their cubbies and then turned and floated out of the inner sanctum.

The young man at the desk was kind enough to point me back to the 101 North. Perhaps he'll never know that he saved me from embarrassment and also made my entire week by allowing me tread on almost holy ground for a blogger. He was the hero of the day.

Leona

Technorati Tags: blogher, Mountain View, Google, Silicon Valley

Cable Cars, Golden Gate and GREAT Chinese Food!

2006-07-27T23:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Snead and I got up early. We actually both woke up at 3:59 a.m. PT and sat up to stare weirdly at each other across the room, until we realized that our body clocks were not yet synched and we still had a few hours to sleep! After some tossing and turning, I did manage to drift back off again.

Neither of us could make it past 6 a.m., though. We got dressed and walked over to the Hertz office, which is located handily right here in the Hyatt, and picked up our reserved rental car. It's a cute little charcoal gray Mazda 6. Looks like a mini-van got personal with a sedan. hehe

After breakfast, we set out for the 40-mile drive from San Jose to San Fran.

The trip was mostly uneventful, except for one side trip to the Googleplex. It's an interesting story and warrants a blog entry of its very own, so stay tuned. :-)

When we hit San Fran it was easier to find the big landmarks that we'd expected. We drove down to Fisherman's Wharf and stowed the Mazda 6 in a parking garage. Then, we hit the sidewalks and decided to do the cable car. There was more walking as we finally found the start of the Hyde-Powell line, paid for our all-day tickets and got in line.

While we were standing in line, the fog lifted just enough for us to see the red shadow of the famous Golden Gate bridge peeking out. Snead had promised she would squeal with delight when she finally saw it, and she didn't disappoint.

Riding the cable car was so incredibly San Francisco that I felt like a little kid on a ride at Disney World! Going up and down the hills and fearing that the breaks would give out at any moment and send us hurtling to our bloody deaths pumped all sorts of adrenaline into my system. I have to admit it was quite a rush.

We got off at the end of the line and paid a local guy a dollar tip to tell us where we should go next.

We headed up to Grant and walked until we hit Chinatown, where we browsed through all sorts of quaint little shops and cheesy little shops. We admired the interesting offerings in the outdoor markets and listened as folks haggled over prices in Chinese.

Snead was determined to find a "good" place to eat, so we peered into every little place until we found one that seemed to be overflowing with locals. That was the place! We ordered one #1 Special -- Mongolian Beef, Chicken with Cashews and Fried Rice, along with a couple of bowls of Hot and Sour soup. There was so much food that we couldn't possibly consume it all, and there was a DELICIOUS!

When we had gorged enough to pop, we waddled back out onto Washington and climbed the hill until we found a cable car back to Fisherman's Wharf.

Along the way, we shopped for stuff to take back to our loved ones at home. (Kisses to all the loved ones reading!) I bought a kewl apron (I have a thing for aprons) with the Fisherman's Wharf crab logo on it. I got my boy at little cable car with a dinging bell. And, finally, we ended up having Anchor Steam beer (thank you, Michelle!) at the Hard Rock Cafe. (Girls, you've got t-shirts coming!)

We ended our San Fran day with a stroll around the pier. We gazed at Alcatraz and the Golden Gate and took some photos of the sea lions barking away on the floating docks.

The chilly wind whipped up and reminded us that it was high time we got back on the road for San Jose. What an unforgettable day! I hope the photos turn out.

Leona

Technorati Tags: blogher, San Francisco, cable cars, Golden Gate Bridge

Do you know the way to San Jose?

2006-07-26T08:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I do! You leave Gainesville, Fla., at 6:48 a.m. ET and drive through Waldo, Starke, and Lawty, Fla., where you diligently obey the posted speed limits to avoid the local redneck law enforcement's wrath. (If you are from North Florida and have even tried to get to Jax from the Gulf Coast you'll know exactly what I am talking about!)

You then arrive at Sneadwoman's house at approximately 8:30 a.m. (after sitting parked in the sea of other traffic trying to get onto I-95 S. from I-10). There is time to suck down about half a cup of Snead-brewed coffee before it is time to head out to the Jax International Airport.

(Ummmm...Let's not mentioned that whacked-out missed turn that lead you back onto I-10 for a brief moment!)

We arrive at the airport, take the shuttle bus to the terminal after parking 10,000 miles away in the ecomony lot. (Did I mention my company is NOT paying for this conference?) We use the handy-dandy self-check-in feature, get our electronic boarding passes and blaze through the snaking line of security with amazing dexterity.

On the other side, we immediately go in search of a Starbucks, only to realize that we just freaking don't have TIME! OMG. The world could have come to an end!

We have just enough time to grab a danish and a muffin at Yucky Airport Food Slinging Place (name changed for legal reasons) and within minutes are boarding our plane to San Jose...no wait...DALLAS/FORT WORTH!

(Simulate bumpy 2-hour plane ride here.)

Upon arrival in Dallas, we have two hours to kill. We share a burger and slug down a couple of Coronas in an airport burger joint. As we are sitting at our table, we both spy a Starbucks cup bopping by in the hands of a blond chick. Our search for Starbucks began anew. And, *Hallelujah* there were TWO of them to choose from.

Two Java Chip Frappachinos later (and a brand new set of magazines) Snead and I were both feeling human again and boarding the flight for San Jose.

As we buckled in, Snead had to point out that her ass was hanging over the crack that divided our seats. From my end, this didn't appear to be the case, but she didn't believe me when I told her so. She gets this way on long flights, so I have to placate her.

As the flight progressed, we were privy to the loud conversations of the three preteen girls sitting in the seats on the other side of the eisle. The word "like" was used more times than I can even count. The girls were traveling alone, but had befriended each other in the terminal and the flight attendents were nice enough to wiggle EVERYONE around so they could all sit together.

She also wiggled an older lady and gentleman into the seats in front of us. Snead's enthusiastic reaction to the article about Oprah and Gayle's friendship in the most recent "O" Magazine caused her to bump the tray table and illicited an angry response from the bitch...ummmm...lady in front of us.

Other than that, the 3-1/2-hour flight was rather uneventful. We took off a little late and landed a little late, putting us in San Jose at around 4:30 PT (7:30 ET). Needless to say, we were pooped.

A friendly shuttle deposited us at the Hyatt. We checked in, hand dinner (which was good, but too expensive) in the hotel restaurant and then struggled to stay awake long enough to stave off too much jet lag.

Dr. Phil was still gabbing away about too much plastic surgery when my eyes closed of their own accord around 9:30 p.m. PT.

So, yes, I know the way to San Jose, and it takes a long freaking time to get here. LOL.

We're off to a day in San Fran. Later!

Leona

Technorati Tags: blogher, San Jose, airline travel, Starbucks, Hyatt San Jose

Blogher Bound!

2006-07-24T20:48:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, I head out for the annual blogher conference in San Jose, Calif., where I hope to meet lots of other women bloggers and learn how to make this bit of the Internet I own really sing. (Or at least hum a better tune.)

For a week, my friend Snead and I have been constantly on the phone discussing the merits of carry-on luggage. I found a rockin' Diane Von Furstenburg bag that I think will do the trick. I have all my clothes laid out on the bed, and I am now worried that they won't all fit. Fine time to come to THAT realization.

30-minutes later...

I had to nix one outfit, but I managed to cram it all in there. I have one outfit for each day and two extra shirts I can alternate, depending on the weather. I bought travel bottles for my toiletries and put the possibly-leaky ones in a ziplock baggie as well.

I've also filled my laptop bag with the residuals...including my black Reef flip-flops. Can't leave those behind.

I'll check off my list again in the morning, but I am pretty sure I have enough underwear and that's all that matters, right? hehe

...leeeaavving, on a jet plane...don't know when I'll be back again...

I think I'm prepared. We shall see.

Blog ya when I get there!

Leona

Technorati Tags: blogging, women, blogher, carry-on luggage

Beach Blanket Blues

2006-07-15T09:24:00.000-07:00

*sigh*

I thought I was doing great. Why do I let this scale rule my world?

Last week, I went to the beach at Treasure Island, Fla., with my mom, two sisters, my three kids and two nephews. Our two condos were on the third floor of the complex, so we were up and down stairs several times a day. I was thinking, "Hey, my ass is going to look SLAMMIN' when I get home!"

We also swam in the ocean once a day and hit the pool in the afternoons. Plenty of exercise, right? I didn't pig out on chips or snack all day long.

Okay, so how in the hell did I end up coming home almost 5 lbs heavier than I did when I left? Huh? Can someone PLEASE explain that to me?

I know, I know...it's not the end of the world. But, damn it! I feel like I constantly take two steps forward and four back on this weight loss/fitness journey.

I need to go cry now. I am sure I'll feel better when I relieve that stress.

Technorati Tags: Treasure Island, weight loss, Florida, beach

New Exercise Regimen

2006-07-06T12:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, as promised, I am blogging about my new exercise regimen.

I had already started to walk once a day and had set a nice 20-minute route that suited my needs. At this time, 20 minutes is about all I can spare with work breathing down my neck.

Anyhoo, after walking almost daily for a month, I noticed that my walk seemed to be getting shorter. Hmmmm...turned out the ROUTE wasn't getting shorter, but I was getting FASTER. I had to lengthen my route.

Amazingly enough, after a week or so my time was shrinking AGAIN! One evening, I scraped my husband off the couch and enticed him to walk with me. About halfway through the walk, he turned to me and said, a little breathlessly, "You know, at this pace, you should just run."

Good idea!

The next day, I alternated by fast walk with a jog. Had to add to the route again, but it was exciting and invigorating to know that I could actually JOG without dying. Woo Hoo!

I am hoping to start walking and jogging on alternate days soon. Keep reading.

Leona

Technorati Tags: exercise, weight loss, jogging, walking

Back on the wagon, going public

2006-07-05T20:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,

Are you still reading? Probably not. And why in the world would you be? I haven't posted anything to read in almost two months. Good grief!

You'd think I haven't posted because I got discouraged. Well, perhaps I did...a bit. But, the main reason I haven't posted is lack of time. And, to be honest, I am lazy. I have been working my tail off at my job job, and I haven't allowed myself time or made time to keep up my writing.

I think that my biggest flaw as a person is that I don't make time for myself and the things that "I" want to do. I tend to put other stuff first. Work...well, you have to put that first if you want to be able to afford a roof over your head, food on your table and, yes, GAS in your car. (I could write an ENTIRE blog post on the topic of gas, but I won't go there now.)

Writing is my passion, and I neglect it. My excuses? I have too much work to do. The kids need [insert various things here]. My husband needs [insert stuff here]. I have bills to pay. I have errands to run. I have to run children here. I have to run children there. I may miss [blank] TV show. The list could go on and on. What happened to my dream of writing the great American novel? I think it's really all just fear. Fear that I will not be good. Even that this blog will not be good. Hence, I have not attempted to draw much attention to it.

The good news is twofold:

1) I am not only back on the weight-loss wagon, but I have stepped up my exercise regimen, and I am pretty sure I'm losing inches. The weight continues to stay around 143 lbs. But, I think I'll make my 10-lb first goal by the end of July.

2) I am shaking off my fear and taking this blog public. I am going to bare my heart and soul to the world, for better or for worse. Wish me luck.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's entry where I will astound you with news of how my exercise is going.

For now, goodnight.

Technorati Tags: writing, weight loss, exercise, fitness

I suck

2006-05-09T12:23:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty down on myself right now. I can't say I haven't been doing ANYTHING to keep fit, but I haven't been working to my potential. I haven't been keeping up with this blog and holding myself on the right track.

I SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

My scale says I have lost two more pounds, but my clothes tell me a different tale.
Even that loss isn't doing anything for me. There are actually pants that WERE fitting me a few weeks ago that are TOO TIGHT NOW! How can that be?

Well, I read something yesterday (and I can't even remember where) that said fatty foods go straight to your tummy, which is even worse for you if you have a history of heart disease in your family. Argh!

Yep, I have lost weight, but I am still making poor food choices, and I need to stop. I'm losing weight other places, but piling the fat up in my stomach and spreading out so my pants won't button.

I am literally killing myself a little at a time.

Leona

The Sick Sickies

2006-03-31T08:20:00.000-08:00

Sick children are the death of a diet and weight loss plan.

How do I know that? How can I make such a strong statement? Because I have been living it for the past 8 days. Argh!

Devin hasn't been to swim practice all week. Colton wouldn't get over the croup, and I finally got tired of the barking seal routine and got him some prednisone. He has been home since Tuesday and driving me completely nuts, despite how much I love his guts. (Look, a rhyme!) Thank heavens Becca has managed to dodge the bullet so far.

Ever since a croup incident when Colton was two that lead to my baby with blue lips and only a squeak of air getting into his little lungs, I have been freaked out by that barking cough. All week I have run the vaporizer in his room and gotten up five or six times a night to make sure he's still breathing. He's exhausted and so am I.

With him home sick, I have only walked twice this week. And, today I had a stress attack and downed WAY too much chocolate. (You can probably feel my heartburn across the miles!)

I am starting to feel like fate is against me. :-(

I forgot to mention that I have also been sick for the past three weeks with what I have assumed are allergies. The Claritin does help a bit, but needless to say I was already tired before the kids got sick.

I feel like I could lay down and sleep for a week. *snore*

At least I am on vacation next week. Yay! Maybe I'll be able to catch up on some of my sleep and de-stress.

Frustration

2006-03-23T09:20:00.000-08:00

I should be happy. I started weeks ago at 150 lbs and this morning my scale was at 144. I know that six lbs is nothing to sneeze at, but at this rate it is going to be a really long time before I can even think of getting into a bathing suit without frightening off even the seagulls. (And we all know how indiscriminating THEY are!)

I may be toning up a bit, but I can't tell yet. My butt seems tighter, but my tummy appears to me to be just as flabby as when I started. I guess more crunches are in order. And, I know that I need to beef up my cardio. I've been lazy about that.

My eating choices have definitely moved back to the healthier regions, so I am proud of myself in that area. Lunch today was a 1/4 cup of chicken salad spread on a fat-free soft tortilla and a cup of boiled okra. (Yes, my children gag at the thought, but I have always loved them boiled!)

Publix has come to my rescue lately with these great Apron's meals. They list everything you need and the section of the store where the ingredient can be found. Recipe cards also include the calories, fat, cholesterol, sodium, carbs, fiber, protein, etc., per serving.

I've added a lot more water, which seems to be helping keep the bloat down. But, the side effect is I lose some sleep due to getting up at least twice in the night to pee. Woo Hoo!

I have to admit that the frustration of such slow results is wearing on me. I keep finding myself thinking, "Crap on it! What's the point? I'm old and I'll NEVER look good again." It's such a defeatist attitude and not much like me at all. I can't let this fat win.

I am realistic. I know I won't look like I am 25 again, but, damn it, that doesn't stop me from WANTING to! Argh!

Attack of the Killer Scone

2006-03-21T05:55:00.000-08:00

[Insert music from 'Jaws' here]

The glass case loomed closer and closer. The air began to get tight around me. Suddenly, there it was...the the hideous (yet mesmerizingly delectable) BLUEBERRY SCONE! I choked back the urge to scream and run. Could I resist or would it snatch me into it's soft, buttery, calorie-oozing clutches?

Yep, I gave in.

I was soooo good. I walked into Starbucks intending to order my grande sugar free, fat free vanilla latte per usual, and walked out with that little brown bag of sugary goodness sticking out of my purse.

To give myself a little credit, I only ate half of it. So instead of 460 calories and 18 (yes I said EIGHTEEN) grams of FAT, I had 230 and 9 grams. Maybe that's not too bad for breakfast, but I am sure I could have had something much healthier for that amount of calories.

But, know what? I am not going to beat myself up. I had a gab with a group of girlfriends yesterday, and we were discussing the importance of moderation. The chat was actually about kids and better nutritional choices (that's another blog), but we also talked about how WE as parents need to be role models for how kids.

I am going to make better choices and also treat myself to something I really want...in moderation.

A Quickie

2006-03-20T11:29:00.000-08:00

LOL! I never thought about how many connotations the word "quickie" could have until I sat down to write one. ;-)

I was referring to a quickie blog post, naturally. But, I was also going to talk about quickie exercises. Some days, no matter how hard I try, I just can't fit in a full 30-minute walk or 30 minutes of ab work, etc., into my schedule. Those are the days I settle for "quickies". I figure some exercise is always better than NONE.

Saturday morning I had a "quickie" walk. I was busting butt to get my husband and kids out the door for a fishing trip so I could walk before getting ready to head out with my friend Snead to visit our old college buddies in Tampa. I thought I would have time for the 30-minute walk until I ended up having to dress my son and get everyone breakfast. I HAD managed to put on my workout gear before the truck/boat pulled out of the driveway. Then Snead called and said she was 45 minutes away. Hmmm...out of time.

But, I still wanted to walk, so I sailed out the door and hoofed it hard for 15 minutes instead. At least I felt invigorated and wide awake. :-)

So, remember, if you start running out of time just have a "quickie". You'll feel good about yourself and turn up the heat on your energy level!

Later gators.

Walking in My Shoes

2006-03-14T09:58:00.000-08:00

I've needed a new pair of walking shoes for a while now. I keep putting it off, because it always seems there is something more important to buy.

Yesterday, I was griping to my friend Snead about my shoe situation, and she gave me a hellacious scolding! She says she recently read that if you are an avid walker (which apparently I am...who knew!?) you should replace your walking shoes once every three months. OMG! I am pretty sure these knarly Reeboks are more than two years old. (see photo above)

So, this week in addition to my exercise goals I am going in search of the ultimate walking shoe. hehe. Good thing Rack Room is having a sale!

I did well with my walking yesterday, but I ramped it up today by adding my morning walk back into the mix. I had let it go by the wayside during the cold months (affectionately known in our house as the B-R-R months!) This morning it was perfect walking weather: 65 degrees and just slightly overcast.

Colton complained that he was too tired to walk to school, but I noticed that by the time we got there he was chattering away and seemed much more awake than when we left home. Bonus!

I'm heading out at 1:30 for my afternoon school trek. I may just be ready to get back to my weight routine at the Y by tomorrow. :-)

Leona

Teenage Procrastination Update...

2006-03-13T17:35:00.000-08:00

14-year-old managed to be ready WAY ahead of time today, so we made it to swim practice with time to spare. yay!

I won't get a big head yet, but my lesson seemed to have done some good.

Leona

Spring Means Azaleas!

2006-03-13T12:59:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to share the latest photos of my azaleas here in Florida. We are in FULL bloom this time of year. Unfortunately, the blossoms will probably be gone well before Easter.

I plan on sitting on my swing and taking in the sheer beauty of it all while the sun is warm and the March breezes tickle and tease.

I just love living in the South. :-)

Leona

The Teenage Time Warp

2006-03-13T10:00:00.000-08:00

I really have to vent. I hope all my dear readers will bear with me. ;-)

Why is it that teenagers view time so much differently than the rest of humanity? My 14-year-old daughter is always waiting until the final minute to do ANYTHING!

For instance, she showers every morning and KNOWS how long that will take her, but she still refuses to get up when I call her at 6:30 a.m. Inevitably, she launches out of bed at 6:55 in a state of sheer panic and ranting about how NO ONE ever makes her get up on time! WHAT? I don't deem it my responsiblity to make sure her hair smells terrific. The rant generally continues for a while until she really works herself into a good cry, which tends to waste even more of her precious makeup application time.

Rewind to about 26 years ago, and I could see MYSELF in a mirror. Yep, she's just like me. I know my mom gets immeasurable joy out of hearing me gripe about the morning teenage crying jags. hehe

Although the morning ritual is aggravating, it is nothing compared to the procrastination that takes place every afternoon before swim practice. Here is last Friday's conversation:

14-year-old: "I am walking over to Kayla's house for a few minutes."

ME: "Um...It's 4 o'clock, and we have to leave here before 4:30 in order to make it to swimming by 5. So, I don't think that's a good idea."

14-year-old: "I just have to give her something. I'll be RIGHT BACK!" (she walks out the door)

ME: (Opening the door and yelling out.) "BE BACK HERE IN 10 MINUTES!"

Tick tock, tick tock. 4:20 has come and gone. No sign of the teenager. I get her sister to call Kayla's house. Kayla says teenager is on her way home.

Teenager crashes through door and sits down on the couch in front of cartoons.

ME: "Hey, you need to be getting your suit on!"

14-year-old: "Hold on."

4:30 p.m. -- Teenager finally has suit on. Decides she needs to shave her legs.

Tick tock, tick tock.

I decided I wasn't going to make a big deal and get myself all worked up over this. (Normally, mind you, I'd be fuming about now.)

I just let her keep pushing it and get completely ready with her suit and all her gear.

4:45 p.m. -- I get in the car. She jumps into the passenger seat.

I crank the car and say, "I hope you enjoyed getting ready for nothing."

She looks at me in shock, "What?"

I start backing out of the driveway. "I have to go pick your brother up at school. You cannot make it to swim practice if we leave now. You'll be 30 minutes late. That's not acceptable. You'll disrupt practice."

Blink, blink..."What do you mean?"

"I MEAN that you wasted your time. You can't go now. You didn't pay attention to the timeline. Five minutes late, maybe. 30 minutes late = RUDE."

Then there was some crying and some blaming and some guilt-tripping, but it all boiled down to me feeling like I had offered a pretty good lesson without even losing my temper. GO ME!

I can't wait to see how she does TODAY. I'll keep you posted.

Leona

Back in My Walking Shoes

2006-03-13T09:20:00.000-08:00

How many more times can I say that? It seem to keep starting and stopping on this crazy weight loss journey. Argh!!!!!

Before I was 40, friends of mine kept lamenting that when they hit 40 their bodies just fell apart. I felt pretty good in my late 30s, so I thought they MUST be exaggerating. Ha! Little did I know.

I swear, a few months after I turned 40 I started finding things wrong with me. The first was my back. I'd had some shoulder issues for a few years, but it always seemed to resolve rather quickly. Now, suddenly, I was in excruciating pain. After endless tests, the doc determined that I had a repetitive soft tissue injury in my shoulder. Not much could be done about it, so he just gave me some Naproxen for the pain, when I have a flare, and sent me on my way.

Then the stomach problems that I mentioned in an earlier post started happening. Since my grandmother died of colorectal cancer, I was a little freaked about all these changes in my body.

I am beginning to wonder if my friends all collectively bought a "Leona's Turning 40" voodoo doll and started poking it with stuff. ;-)

To shorten my story, the past month it has been one thing after another. I've had a horrid cold of some sort, then suffered through my kids all having it and then last week was (FINALLY) my colonoscopy. Can you say COLON CLEANSING HELL? Yep, I knew you could!

My diet and exercise schedule went totally by the wayside again, and I am starting to hit a major depression and wonder if, at my age, I will EVER see the scales go down below 130 again. *sigh*

So, here I am starting from what I consider scratch. I did lose about five lbs before my health went to pot, so I am a tiny bit ahead of the game, I guess. I just need to get back on that exercise horse. We'll see how I do. I'm hitting the concrete at 1:30 p.m. for the 20-minute trek to Colton's school. Wish me luck. Send good vibes.

Leona

Slow and Steady Wins the Race...for Weight Loss

2006-01-31T07:49:00.000-08:00

Okay, I am really proud of myself. I think I deserve a pat on the back. *pat, pat*

Yesterday, I again hit my calorie goals and my fitness goals. I ended my day with just below 1200 calories, and I ate really well. I wasn't hungry. I had snacks. I've tried hard to move back to my more veggies and good carbs, South Beachy type of lifestyle.

I also walked for 20 minutes in the fresh Florida air, spent 20 minutes on the workout machines at the Y last night, AND swayed my way through my second hour-long Quigong class. (I am a LOT less coordinated than I had orginally thought!)

I feel soooo much better than I did two weeks ago. I do think I have lost a few pounds, but I won't weigh until this coming weekend (still need suggestions for the best scale!).

The most frustrating thing is that I can't see immediate huge results. I know it's not realistic to expect that, but I think we all hope for it. We all want to automatically notice that we are more thin and svelt than we were a week ago. We all want to drop a size or two in no time flat.

My fear is that it is going to take even LONGER for me because I am over 40 and have had three kids. I can tell my metabolism has slowed down.

So, I need to reign in my expectations so that I don't become discouraged. I need to keep this momentum going. I think blogging this and making myself keep track of exactly what I am going is keeping me focused on my goals.

Stay tuned for what's next. :-)

Leona

Most Accurate Home Scales?

2006-01-30T07:35:00.000-08:00

Good morning, readers!

I have to admit that, although I am doing GREAT in cutting my calories, my exercise regimen hasn't been as regular these past few days as I would like. Yesterday, it consisted of walking the mall with Kathy in Jax. I'm not saying that wasn't good for my butt, but it didn't exactly get my heart pumping. Goal this week is to ramp up the cardio.

I actually think I may have lost a few pounds. But, here is my dilemma...I don't know for sure because I don't own a scale!

Over the years, I have bought many a home scale but they don't seem to last long. Most of them rust. Probably the result of lurking in the moist corners of steamy bathrooms. The last one was laid to rest in November when, for some reason, it ended up in the kitchen and my son dropped a heavy earthenware plate right on the read-out part of it.

So, I am currently in the market for a brand new scale. What I need from my dear readers are suggestions. In your experience and vast research of tools for weight and meansurements, what are the best ones out there? Why?

You may be molding my future. ;-)

Leona

YMCA...and then some!

2006-01-24T07:22:00.000-08:00

I accomplished ALL my goals yesterday, and MORE! Woo Hoo!

I got in my 15 minutes of ab work on the machines at the Y. Worked out my arms as well, which I haven't done in a while. Then, I attended an hour-long Quigong (pronounced chee-gung) class with my daughter, neighbor and her daughter.

I thoroughly enjoyed the class. At first, it didn't seem like it was much of a workout. There was a lot of qui release and bringing in the good qui. Gentle, repetitive movements. The emphasis here is on "repetitive". ;-)

When I got home and chilled out for a bit I started to notice aches in places that I never would have dreamed of. I also felt really relaxed and calm for the rest of the night. Amazing.

The class is on Monday nights for four weeks. I think I can handle it. I may even move on up to the advanced class when I'm finished with this one.

Okay, here are my goals for today:

Goal #1 -- 30-minute walk in the great outdoors
Goal #2 -- 30-minutes on the machines at the Y

Wish me luck.

Today's Fitness Goals

2006-01-23T11:23:00.000-08:00

Two posts in one day! Wonders never cease.

I am just hoping that posting my goals will help me stick to the program and accomplish them.

Goal # 1 -- 20-minute walk. (done)
Goal # 2 -- 15 minutes ab work
Goal # 3 -- 30 minutes at the YMCA gym

I didn't do much yesterday. I may have burned off a few calories doing some housework, but I doubt it was many. Gotta get back on track today.

I'll post my update tomorrow morning.

The Cat's in the Cradle

2006-01-23T08:42:00.000-08:00

My husband is obsessed with fishing.

Fishing is all he thinks about. He can find a way to bring fishing into just about any conversation we have. I shit you not.

I have, over the years, accepted this as a fact of life...MY life anyway. And, I can't say that I hate it. I enjoy fishing as well, just not a torturous day of rolling in six-foot swells on the Gulf of Mexico in the hot sun.

Picture this: I am miserably seasick. My children are miserably seasick. All three of them. We have no top on our boat. We are baking in the elements as we purge our breakfasts to the briny deep. Sure, you COULD consider it chum, as my husband laughingly points out. Add to this the fact that we haven't had ONE fish bite a hook in over an hour. Exercise in futility? You got it!

Just keep this in mind as you read on...

My eight-year-old son loves to fish, too. He especially just loves to go hang out with his dad all day. But, I wouldn't call him obsessed about it. Pokemon seems to be his main obsession these days.

This is the thing about my husband that pisses me off more than anything else he does: He belittles our son because he does not enjoy the fishing trips in the "appropriate" manner.

Yesterday, he takes Colton fishing. He also takes a buddy from work and his son, who is almost a year older than Colton. Colton has a great day. He catches a trout or two and doesn't complain too much. His mortal sin during the time on the boat is asking to have his lure changed too often. (Yes, he may be slightly ADHD.)

Everything seems fine until Colton falls asleep on the way home. He wakes up to realize it is getting dark, and he won't be able to go play with his friend across the street when he DOES get home. Keep in mind he has been up since 6 a.m., sitting in a hot boat, is a little congested and just took a late afternoon nap in an uncomfortable position. He starts to cry and complain that he won't be able to play with his friend now.

Husband gets home, walks into the house and says, "Well, Colton CLEARLY is NOT a fisherman. I keep hoping every time I take him out that it will get better, but it doesn't." Then, he proceeds to sing the accolades of his buddy's little boy. "THAT kid is a fisherman. He didn't complain one time. He just fished and was quiet. He didn't run around the boat. What a great kid. So well-behaved. That's the way I was when I was a kid. I was just always a fisherman."

This is not the first time he has compared our son to other boys like this. Colton always comes up short in his eyes.

Should I be angry? I am. I can't help it.

Maybe my son isn't a "fisherman". Does he have to be obsessed? Can't he simply enjoy being out there with his dad? Can he never be a normal kid and complain about being hot or tired or thirsty? I guess not.

My dad did the same thing to my little brother. I remember him bitching about how my brother wasn't athletic, didn't like to fish, never behaved like his friend's sons did. My brother grew up and promptly moved as far away from my father as he could get. He rarely joins us for holiday family get-togethers. We just don't see him. Why? Because he doesn't see the point in dealing with dad.

Why do men do this to their sons? Don't they realize that belittling them and comparing them isn't going to magically make them wake up one morning and suddenly be the "perfect" son?

My husband is all about positive reinforcement...for his employees. When it comes to us, that seems to go out the window.

I just hope that he sees the light before Colton is old enough to move so far away that we never see him or get to be part of his adult life. That would break my heart.

Old Lady Gets Ogled

2006-01-22T06:05:00.000-08:00

I am sooo proud of myself for the progress I made this week.

I walked three days, and I am planning on walking again today. I may even make it to the Y to hit the machines. I've also been doing my ab work each day. Just about 15 minutes of it, but I am hoping to build up to more. My stomach seems to be my biggest problem.

I have also been doing a bit better with my calorie intake. I added more salads for lunches and cut down my dinner portions. However, yesterday I had pepperoni pizza for both lunch AND dinner. Bad, bad, bad. All that bad fat just taking up residence in my stomach and butt. ewwwww

Breakfasts are also getting better. I'm usually pretty much an oatmeal or cold cereal gal, but I did manage to add an egg twice this week. Good protein to start the day off strong. I can't do it every day, because my IBS (with constipation) forces me to get started with All-Bran to get things "moving", if you know what I mean. ;-) Ah, the fun of getting older.

Now that I have mentioned the All-Bran, I have to say that it's not half bad. In fact, I kind of like it. I've never been one for super-sugared cereals anyway, and this has a naturally light sweet flavor. They have also added yogurt clusters to it, and that does provide a little variety in the texture department, plus adds just a tad more calcium. I know my bones are thanking me!

All this leads me to the reason for today's title...

At the end of the week, amazingly enough, my jeans weren't as hard to pull up over my fanny! I have to say, I am thrilled with just that small accomplishment. So, when I had to take my 14-year-old daughter shopping yesterday for a dress for her swim banquet, I wiggled into my size 6 Curvy's from Old Navy (who BTW should really consider bringing those BACK to their product line!) stepped into my comfy Reef flip flops and headed for the mall with two giggling girls, Devin and her friend, Kayla.

Our first stop, as always, was PacSun. I stood patiently outside the dressing room door as the girls giggled more and tried on mini skirts that were WAY too short for my taste. A handsome young man bumped into me, and said, "Oh, excuse me." I said, "No problem," and shifted my position. Kayla came out of the dressing room and stood there with me to wait for Devin. She leans over and whispers in my ear, "Miss Leona, that guy in the Rolling Stones t-shirt is so checking out your BUTT!"

Can you say, SHOCK and DISBELIEF??? Yep. Me, too.

I turned around and this 20-something guy quickly turns away. Could it really be true? COULD a dude in his 20s actually be looking at a 40-something mom's fat rear end? I guess stranger things have happened. I suppose I was flattered in a weird sort of way.

What it really made me think about was the conversation I had with my husband this week. I was telling him how bad I feel about my body and how much I long to get back to not only a healthy weight, but also to a healthy cholesterol level. (Yes, I KNOW pizza is bad for me!)

He looked at me like I was nuts, and said, "Sure, maybe you could lose a few pounds but I think you look good. I look at you and think, 'Man, I am pretty lucky.'" Of course, I didn't believe a word of that. LOL. I figured he was just trying to get me in the sack. ;-)

I left the mall thinking that maybe I'm not as repulsive as I feel after all. Part of this is probably all in my head. Now, at 5'4" and 150 lbs, I KNOW that I am overweight. I also know that heart disease runs rampant in my family and that extra weight isn't good for me.

So, instead of being repulsed by what I see in the mirror, I think I'll choose to say, "Okay, for 41 and 3 kids you're not looking too bad, old girl.". And, then I'll try to concentrate on making myself healthy rather than "thin".

Later days!
Leona

15-lb Weight Loss Challenge -- Day 2

2006-01-10T07:55:00.000-08:00

Well, Wendy is already on her 10th day and kicking my butt in the exercise department. Ugh

I did get back on my walking routine last week, but didn't keep it up over the weekend. And, yesterday I was down for the count with a horrible head cold and my 8-year-old son home sick from school due to ummmm...a sore rear end. He had diarrhea all day on Sunday and neglected to share that fact with me until LATE Sunday night when his butt was so raw and red that all he wanted to do was cry. And cry. And cry.

It was in the wee hours of Monday morning when I finally closed my eyes and grabbed some much-needed sleep. However, all that stress and lack of sleep only seemed to bring the cold on harder.

Yesterday, I plowed through my work feeling like I was going to collapse at any minute. It's a good thing I work from my home! Well, good and bad I guess. If I worked in an office I would have stayed home and rested instead of continuing to work. I did try to take a longer lunch break than normal.

Naturally, Colton's butt was feeling fine by mid-afternoon and he was full of energy and driving me to the edge of insanity. "Mom, can I have an orange?" "Colton, you just got over diarrhea, oranges aren't a good choice." "But I WANT one!" whinnnnnnnne "We'll try the oranges later, how 'bout a peanut butter sandwich on pumpernickel?" "What is pumpernickel?" "That's the sweet black bread you like." "Okay, cool."

Ten minutes later, "Mommmmmmmmmmmm...can I have an orange?" *sigh*

This morning I woke up and my head felt like it weight two tons. I didn't want to lift it from the pillow. I finally managed to heave my giant head into the bathroom where two squinty eyes peered out at me from the mirror's reflection. Yuck.

My neighbor must have a psychic connection with me, because she called shortly after volunteering to take my kids to school! Woo hoo! I didn't even have to get dressed, so the minute they were out the door, I curled back up on the couch and didn't wake up until 9:30!

Yep, I was officially late for work. But, seeing that I work from home I just picked up my computer and was AT work, pajamas and all. :-)

A few Advils and that extra sleep later I am feeling much more human again. I am actually looking forward to my walk to the school at 1:30. Bring it on!

The 15-Lb Challenge

2006-01-06T06:18:00.000-08:00

My friend Wendy is blogging her weight loss journey for WebMD.

Wendy wants to lose 15 lbs. She was telling me what she's doing, and I was so inspired that I got all excited and volunteered to join her in her challenge and lose 15 lbs myself! Have I lost my mind? No.

Here I am blogging about getting fit. I should be at least TRYING to do something about it. I've totally gotten off track, and gained back several of the pounds I'd lost on the South Beach Diet two years ago. I know that I feel better when I am below a certain weight and exercising regularly. So, I think that with Wendy forcing me to check in and report my progress I may actually stick to my plan.

I've started by getting back into the routine of walking at least 30 minutes every day. And...drumroll please...I've actually worked my abs two days in a row!

Beginning next Monday, I am going to workout at my local YMCA three days a week. If you notice that I am NOT writing about my trips to the Y, I want you to flog me in the comments section.

Okay, who's joining the 15-lb challenge? Come on...if I can do it YOU can!

Later days,
Leona

Coffee and Creation

2006-01-06T05:44:00.000-08:00

Yes, Jesus is the Savior of my soul. But, COFFEE saves my sanity daily.

In my opinion, coffee is the Lord's most wonderful creation. There is nothing like hovering over a steaming, dark cup of liquid joy early in the morning and just breathing in the delicious promise of clarity.

I honestly believe that at the end of the sixth day of Creation, God turned to his heavenly host and said, "Can one of you angels PLEASE bring me a cup of coffee!?" And it was good.

Lately I have been trying desperately to get a handle on both my work and personal life, so I am rising early and staying up late. If it weren't for my morning fix of Starbucks Komodo Dragon I am not sure I'd be able to steam my eyelids open each morning.

Am I obsessed? Addicted? Perhaps. But, I suppose it could be worse.

Somewhere I got lost!

2005-12-01T11:54:00.000-08:00

Where did I disappear to? Wouldn't YOU like to know!?

Seriously, I lost my way. I got busy and forgot all about getting fit. I forgot how important it is. And, I've paid along the way.

It was relatively easy to stay fit over the summer...swimming, walking, staying active. But, even then work was taking me over.

My job has gotten so demanding in the past few months. Our little team has been stressed to the max, and we're all looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. It may finally be here, but still not holding my breath.

As the months have gone by I have lost control. My eating habits have gone down the tubes. I am not sleeping at night. I've had anxiety attacks...one that ended with a trip in an ambulance to my local emergency room. I was terrified that I was having a heart attack.

Although my tests at the ER all came back good, I also had a Stress Test to determine whether there was anything actually going on with my heart. Thank goodness all was clear. I felt so relieved after that, and my anxiety attacks decreased a bit.

Not long after that a very good friend of ours passed away. I'm not going to elaborate on that right now. I think I want to save it for a post of its own. He deserves that.

I had noticed over the summer that I was also having increasing bouts of heartburn. I ignored it. I am good at ignoring things...especially my own health. If my kids have a sniffle, I am right there dragging them to the pediatrician. I wish I could be that good to myself. I really have no idea why I'm not. Maybe that's one for the therapist's couch. ;-)

By the end of October, the heartburn became too unbearable to ignore. I couldn't sleep unless I propped up on pillows. Even drinking WATER would trigger it. I was miserable. But, I still didn't go to the doctor until I noticed I was having a horrible pressure in my lower right abdomen. It felt like I had to poop ALL the time, but I didn't SEEM to be constipated. Suddenly, I was terrified. What if it was Colon cancer? My grandmother DIED of colon cancer. Would you believe I still put off seeing my doc? Yep, I am out of control.

Then, I started having anxiety again. I started dreaming about death and dying. I would wake up crying at night and cling to my poor husband and sob. He'd just rub my arm or hug me in his sleep, trying to comfort me and not knowing what the heck was wrong with his neurotic wife.

Finally, a couple of weeks later I got an appointment. The doctor examined me and was wishy-washy, which wasn't all that helpful. He said it might be a tumor, it might be a spastic colon, it might be an intestinal adhesion, it might even be referred pain from an ovarian cyst. What he seemed relatively sure of was I have GERD -- Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease. That was the reason for the horrible heartburn. He gave me Aciphex, which is a proton pump inhibitor, to get rid of the overabundance of stomach acid churning back up into my poor sore esophagus! I was to take it for a two months. Luckily, he was able to supply me with all the drugs I needed, and I didn't have to buy it myself.

The doctor told me to try the meds for a few days and see if the abdominal pain got better. If it didn't, I was to call back.

I waited a week...no change. I still had this constant pain. I called and left a message for the nurse to call me back. She did...after a couple of days when by. I told her what was up, and she had to talk to the doctor and call me back. Don't we just LOVE these fun little runaround games? Another week went by. Finally, I was scheduled for a CT Scan of my abdomen and pelvis. They were able to get me in on Nov. 23, which was a day I took off to travel to Georgia for Thanksgiving. I didn't want to put it off any longer, so we just left late.

The night before I had to drink the Barium Sulfate solution, which was cleverly disguised as a 'berry smoothie'. Let me tell you, it wasn't fooling anyone. Yuck. One bottle was gagged down that night and then I had to drink half of the second one the next morning and the rest of it when I arrived at the radiology clinic.

The CT machine looked like a giant donut. hehe. I was so glad it wasn't like the MRI I had last year for my back. Laying inside that tube just about killed me. I did A LOT of deep breathing. In the CT machine they just slide you through the donut hole and let it scan you in the appointed area. Easy squeezy.

I was in and out of there in 30 minutes. And, off to enjoy my Thanksgiving in Georgia. (Another post)

I also made a GYN appt before I left, which I had when I got back on the 28th. Doc did a vaginal ultrasound...my first experience with that. It was uncomfortable, and I felt like I should have at least been kissed or groped first! LOL. But, everything seemed clear.

The next day I got my CT results. It suggested a cyst on my ovary and also Irritable Bowel Syndrome, but NO TUMORS!!!!!!!!!! Yippee! Not that IBS is something I welcome, mind you, but I hope it is something I can cope with by changing my diet and lowering my stress (yeah, right!).

That's my update. Now, I can post something fun. ;-)

Workout Clothes??

2005-07-20T19:40:00.000-07:00

Want to know why fat people don't work out? Pay a visit to your neighborhood sporting goods store and stand in the sea of skimpy exercise outfits and you will know. Just standing there sucks every ounce of motivation right out of you. Try it. Go ahead. I dare you.

Even the extra large lycra demons are, let's face it...freaking TINY! I backstroked through the rows upon rows of miniscule outfits in The Sports Authority this afternoon looking for ANYTHING that 1) might fit and 2) might not look ridiculous on a frumpy, 41-yr-old mother of three. Good luck with THAT!

I held pair upon pair of itty bitty shorts up to my extremely wide ass. Nope, nope, nope. Not only are they tiny, they are made of all this clingy, shiny material that looks super if you are already thin and toned. However, if you are like me and some of your assets aren't exactly...um...stable, they just make you look bumpy.

I read somewhere that clothes are made the way they are because women supposedly don't care what they look like in an outfit, they just want to THINK they will look like the model. I am here to tell you that I don't know one single women that would fall for that load of horse hockey. Women are smart. Unfortunately, marketing executives haven't figured that out yet. I'd like to believe that's because they are all men, but, alas, I fear that our own sisters are selling us out, ladies!

I finally managed to find a pair of unassuming blue cotton shorts with a (thank you GOD!) drawstring and a white ribbed tank with a built in bra. The girls aren't very big, but they are gettin' on up there and not as perky as they used to be. Need that support.

It's one outfit, but it's a still a start.

Keep reading. I may actually sweat this week! :-)

You gotta start somewhere!

2005-07-20T13:15:00.000-07:00

My fitness journey was "supposed" to begin on Monday. I created this blog on Monday. But, I didn't post a damned thing until today. Just what does that say about me?

I prefer to think that it just says I want to be truly ready...prepared for the LONG road this may be in my life.

I also had not stopped to think about what "fitness" meant to me. Over the past few days, I have come to realize that I don't want this to be simply about getting my body in shape. I want total all-over karma. A complete overhaul, if you will.

After some soul searching last night, I also realized I have been seething under my skin for a long time. I can now see the little tentacles that have been sticking out, trying to feel the air for change.

I was just chatting on AIM with my pal, Denise, and sharing the story of the tests I have been putting my hubby through recently. Guess what? As I was blabbing away on AIM, I suddenly had another revelation. This, too, is all about my "fitness".

Aside from an occasional bitchy outburst, I think I've been a rather dutiful wife. I always know where his underwear resides. I always change the bedclothes regularly. I make sure the children brush their teeth and bathe. That sort of thing. But, lately, I have been a bit rebellious.

My first experiment was with the bathroom trash can. I was sitting on the toilet one day, and looked over (as Ihave done many times before) at the trash and thought, "When I'm done here, I'll take that out and replace thebag." Then, a niggling little thought crept into my brain. It said, "WTF! Are you the ONLY person capable of taking out this trash? Has anyone else EVER emptied this can?"

Why, no! I wracked my brain, twisted it all sorts of ways, and still I couldn't remember a single instance anyone other than me had emptied the bathroom trash can. Amazing.

So, I left it. The can was about 3/4 full. I thought it might interesting to see how long it would take before hubby got tired of looking at the trash and took it out himself. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Hmmmm...

TWO weeks later, the trash was flowing onto the floor. Nothing nasty, mind you, but still. It was all I could stand, so I quietly took care of it. Why did I do that? I can't say. A desire to just keep the peace, maybe? I did bring it up to him about a week later, and he just shrugged, and said, "I didn't notice it being that bad." Whatever.

Last night, I began experiment number two. I created a fabulous masterpiece for dinner of crab cakes, couscous and steamed squash. (Did I mention my kids are at the beach with their grandparents this week?) Hubby downed this delicious feast, along with three glasses of Fetzer cabernet, and then proceeded to stretch out on the couch like a 6-foot, 2-inch giant slug.

I sat there at the table, eyes slitted in annoyance and said, "Ahem, do you think you could load the dishwasher?"He said, "huh?" I took a deep breath and tried again, "I worked all day and then cooked this dinner. I just don't feel like I should have to take care of the dishes as well." "Oh," he said, "Sure, I can do that. Give me a minute to chill out." Uh huh.

So, here it is 4:10 p.m. the next day, and the dishwasher is still full of clean dishes, and the sink is still full of dirty dishes. He should be home by 5:30. I'll be pointing this out as soon as his toe passes over the threshold. Stay tuned to see what happens.

In the meantime, I really DO have to begin my fitness journey...the one that tones my body, that is. I lost 25 lbs a year ago, and I've kept it off, give or take five pounds here and there. Now I need to tone this flab. Heck, I'm 41. It would be downright stupid to put it off any longer. My skin is becoming less elastic as I type!

Now, I am off to Target to buy some workout clothes. Who knows, I just may make it to the Y tomorrow. Maybe.